Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
