Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize