sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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