Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
