WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
