It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
How's work?
Spinning.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize