I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
