Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize