I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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