i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
