Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
