420 ftw
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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