Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
