I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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