Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
