spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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