And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
areolas are like halos for boobs.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
