dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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