We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
