Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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