There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
