my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
