We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
