But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize