Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
