I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
