My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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