I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
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