My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize