So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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