Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
