He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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