how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You're a waste of cheezeits
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
