it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
