Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wish I could teleport
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
