I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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