You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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