so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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