I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize