bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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