My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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