The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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