Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize