My liver just broke up with me...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize