Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
