Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Randomize
