he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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