I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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