In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
