"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
