Umm I'm too high to move.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize