Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
