The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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