I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
