Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
