Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
