i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
