i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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