I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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