this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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