just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize