I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
