She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
