And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize