Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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