i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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