The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize