Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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