what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
