just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
