And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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