My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
How does it feel to date your dad?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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