Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize