He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
