No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
