why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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